woman weighed down by her thoughts

Your thoughts are holding you back. Here's how to shift them

burnout career development goals mindset Mar 20, 2023

"When we are no longer capable of changing a situation, we face the challenge of changing ourselves" Viktor Frankl. Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist.

Feeling overloaded because there is too much change at once? Feeling uncertain about what next week could hold never mind next year? It is so normal to feel challenges and fearful right now but how are you dealing with it? 

One of my favourite mottos that has stood me well is " it's not what happens it is how we deal with it." So here's some more "deal with it" strategies to help you cope better in these extreme uncertain times. 

The saying really is true "your best and happiest life begins outside of your comfort zone". We are naturally goal seeking organisms that want to expand and grow. So we face ourselves in a state of flux between wanting to grow and feeling resistance to do so.

We all have a niggling voice in the back of our head, that has the single role of trying its damned hardest to keep you safe. Unfortunately its more than likely keeping you stuck doing the same things and talks you out of stepping out of your comfort zone?

What is yours saying? It might be telling you to not to attract attention to yourself, to avoid conflict, that you're not good at certain things, that you can't afford it? These little voices are usually what hold us back from reaching our potential.

You may have heard the term 'limiting beliefs' and that's exactly what they are, they're part of our coping mechanism. Somewhere in your history, those voices have saved you from something; being hurt, abandoned, or shamed, and so, subconsciously, you hold on to them tightly. They've saved you before from rejection and humiliation, so you've made them part of your identity. "I'm not very creative", or "I'm shy" and even "I'm unloveable".

The problem is, that these are just things that we've made up to make sense of events in our lives, and they cost us big time. Believing that you aren't enough, you can't or shouldn't means that you're living a life through fear. You play it safe and miss out on countless opportunities to grow and develop. 

The problem then compounds itself. You berate yourself for not stepping up and for missing chances, and start to feel frustrated about all of the things blocking you from the path you want to take. You blame things that are out of your control; timing, money, qualifications, other people, the economy. It all becomes too big, so you retreat back to the safety of where you already are, what you've already created and where you're comfortable.

Want to do something about it? Want to change the record? Here are some small steps you can take today to make a difference.

Five tips to shift your limiting beliefs

1. Pause and take a breathe.

When you feel fear or resistance, pause. Notice that you're in 'low-mood thinking'. Take a moment to think about a more positive way of looking at it. Deep breath. "I could..." 

2. Understand that your thoughts are not the truth. 

Write down your thoughts, and try to identify which parts are factual and which parts are stories you have made up based on the past. Understand that you created these stories to help you in the past, but they are not the truth about who you really are and who you can become. 

3. Find a role model

For every story you've identified, find an example of someone who has changed their life in that way. I bet you could even be your own role model and might even have a memory from your past when you acted bravely or when you solved a problem. 

4. Take responsibility

For everything that you claim as your 'fault', you take power over. If it was your fault that something happened, or that you missed an opportunity, great. It's under your complete control to do it differently next time. You have got this.

5. Find support

Our brains love to stick with what they know- that's why change can be so hard. Talking it through with someone who will affirm and mirror your new beliefs back to you is so helpful- and this is what you'll get as a part of our group programme!


Changing our mental habits that we think protect us isn't always easy, but it's so worth it. Just imagine what you're capable of if you were free to just go for it! Our supportive group programme is transformational- and that's because we help you to shift those old, limiting beliefs and create a new story where you are powerful, capable and ready to step into a "that" work life you really want.

So is it time for you to change yourself? To reprogram your thoughts to create a confident and courageous mindset, and to find your way to the life you've dreamed of living? 

Allow it to be incredible,

Alexandra xx

PS. Contact me here if you are interested in working with me.

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